Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
