he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
