Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize