Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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