I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
