I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
