no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
