hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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