Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
