Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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