Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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