yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
