Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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