so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
