i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It's never too late to be topless.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
