AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
