As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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