she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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