idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
