I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
