I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He has the fingertips of a God
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