I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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