thus making me awesome and them whores
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
