ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
