I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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