my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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