no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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