in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
this hospital has no fireball
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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