He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
