Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
