This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
