Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
