I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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