Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Houston, we have a squirter
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
