overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
