I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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