ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
