I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
