and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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