Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
