dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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