What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Welp...herpes.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
