i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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