i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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