whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
