just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
