from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
