So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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