Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
