This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
