I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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