boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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